You know your parent, grandparent, or elder relative has incredible stories to tell—but every time you bring it up, they say “Oh, I’m not that interesting” or “Maybe another time.”

Encouraging someone to open up about their life takes more than asking a few questions. It’s about creating the right conditions—of comfort, trust, and genuine curiosity. Here’s how to do it.

Make it about them, not the process

Some people get overwhelmed by the idea of “recording their life story.” It can sound formal, intimidating, or like a big commitment. Instead, focus on the value of what they have to say.

Try this:

• “I love hearing about your childhood. Can I ask you more about it sometime?”
• “Your story about moving to a new city stuck with me. I’d love to hear more when you're up for it.”

Let them feel appreciated, not “interviewed.”

Start small and keep it casual

You don’t need a full setup or schedule to begin. Some of the best stories come out while walking, cooking, or sitting with a cup of tea.

Try this:

• Ask one memory-based question during a phone call.
• Bring an old photo or object and ask what it reminds them of.
• Let the conversation wander—no need to stick to a script.

Use questions that invite reflection

Avoid yes/no questions or basic facts. Instead, try open-ended prompts that help them reflect and connect emotionally.

Examples:

• “What did you love most about your childhood home?”
• “Who made you feel safe when you were growing up?”
• “What’s a lesson you learned the hard way but are glad you did?”

Tayle’s built-in question prompts are designed specifically for this kind of gentle, reflective storytelling.

Remove pressure and expectations

It’s okay if the story doesn’t come out perfectly, or if someone skips a question. Don’t push. Just being there to listen goes a long way.

What helps:

• Let them skip topics they’re not ready for.
• Remind them they’re in control and that they can start, stop, or change direction anytime.
• Thank them for sharing, even if it was just one short memory.